remembering bernie

this time last year, we were at my late father-in-law’s wake when my brother-in-law, bernie, had his fatal collapse…right there, among a mass of friends and family in the funeral home.  it was a surreal, horribly shocking moment…a memory not easily forgotten.   we were already mourning the loss of our beloved patriarch and then hours later, my husband’s eldest brother drops dead.  literally.  my nephew, who is an emt, and some other family members tried furtively to revive bernie. but after 3 attempts with cpr, nothing.  the emts who arrived moments later weren’t successful either.  it was, as you might imagine, a traumatic tragedy for all who bore witness to it. 

i couldn’t help remembering this when i was going about my day today.  it’s still incredulous that he is no longer with us.  my memories of him are so vivid…i hear his voice in my head and he sounds so real, so alive, you know?  freaky, i know…but i guess that is my brain trying to remember & make some kind of sense from his passing. 

i know that my dh, his brother, feels the same as i do.  bernie was a uniquely eccentric sort of person, who loved to talk a person’s ear off and most definitely followed the beat of his own drum when he was alive.   but deep down, he loved his family and i know that he would be happy to know that we loved him right back too.

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