erin go braugh

don’t forget to wear GREEN, or you’ll liable to get pinched!

today is the day when everyone gets to be irish for the day…

happy st. paddy’s day!

***

at different times this month, both the hub & i  have been under the weather… experiencing varying degrees of malaise.  & it’s only just recently that we both started to feel better.   it’s no fun not being your usual self, you know?  sometimes, one has to endure for a bit & just let the crappy bits  pass.  i know for my dh, he has a harder time coping during the dark, winter months due to his SAD (seasonal affect disorder)…plus, it’s been even esp difficult bec. we’re still going thru the whole grieving process with the passing of two beloved family members last fall.  it’s been six months since they’ve been gone.  i still, to this day, think very frequently that my late fil & bil are still here!  omg.   they are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.  some days more often than others.  but i always have to keep telling myself that they are no longer here. 

in my mind, they seem so very much ALIVE.  my hub says the same thing.   we miss them so much.  just the other day, i had a rather lucid dream about my late bil.  it seemed so real, you know?  in my dream, my bil looked very well & full of vigor.  the hub & i were in the car, driving along somewhere and then out of the blue, we see my bil with a lady friend, presumably a girlfriend?  anyway, i remember thinking in my dream, how could this be?  but we gave them a ride.  my bil was a talker…i mean, he had the gift of the gab, like so many of my in-laws (i think that must be an irish-thing?  my in-laws, after all are of  irish background, with a little german thrown in).  he was never one without some story or comment.  he could talk your ear off, if given half the chance!  it was no different in the dream.   he was regaling us with some story, which i cannot remember what he said.  all i remember was that he was doing a lot of talking, as he was known to do when he was alive. & then no sooner than we had picked them up, they wanted to be dropped off.  & then, poof!, they were gone.  that’s when i woke up & realized that all that i thought happened was only a dream.  sheesh, it seemed to be so real.  my late bil seemed so…tangible.

bizarre, how the subconscious mind & dreams work. 

my poor hub has been having a tough time with (understandably!) still grieving & the SAD (& also being recently laid off) just compounds things.  it’s making me a wreck to see him so, well, sad!  i think we, esp. the dh,  are in desperate need for brighter, warmer days.   we’ve been dealing with doom and gloom for too long & i say it’s time to kick them to the curb!  i want us to be our usual happy-go-lucky selves, you know? 

yesterday was our first real taste of better days to come.  it was gloriously sunny & in the mid-60s. just a few traces of dirty bits of snow still linger under some trees on the north side of the house.   i sure hope that spring has finally gnawed its way to the surface.  i am so ready to get out of the dark. & i want the dh to too.   i think…no, i know that we will both be so much the better for it. 

maybe wearing a bit o’ the green today will bring us some of that irish luck.  or at the very least, keep our irish eyes smiling.

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2 Responses

  1. oh, REYA!!! soooooo sorry for all the saddness going on…like you said, ‘brighter’ days are ahead and we’re all praying for you + joe to get out of the dark days and forge on to brighter new days…wearing+seeing a bit o’green will surely bring back your Irish smiling eyes again… bon-bon’s tap+ballet recital is next Sunday (28th@1p) + ian still would like to go to the ironman competition (26th@6:30p-8:30p) but needs a strong Irish dude to be his partner (since u know who will be out of town starting tomorrow 😦 ) so if you guys need to get out of town and see adorable ‘Irish’ eyes smiling back at you…we’re here in EP and would love to see you…think about it…and let me know asap as I only have 8 tickets for bon-bon’s show and need to find out today who’s all coming…HIT…Love you lots, your IBM (Irish-by-Marriage) sis, loon 😉 xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  2. I know what you mean about those vivid dreams of loved ones who have moved on. I recently had one about my aunt who passed away at the end of November. I like to consider it a visit and hope they stop by again.
    I sympathize with your dh-SAD on top of sad is a bit much.
    Here’s to brighter days…! Love to you both, Michel

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